I dont even want any of the things I envy some people for.. it is just material and fluffy happiness... Just a carry over from my old self...
let go.. let go.... It is a very misplaced envy.
I should envy the people who are doing so much more, for so many more.. and not get depressed by it but use that as a motivation... some traits are just so difficult to change.. but the brain is a very malleable thing... just takes time and effort to make the change permanent.
It is the same thing I have to apply everyday, for my stress and fear responses. Train the brain to associate those responses to neutral or likeable instead of fear and anxiety. it is a loooong process. Like if you see a snake/lion/any danger and your instant response is to run away, but instead you have to stand there and say hi to it with a smile on your face :)